Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
