Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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