I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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