She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
