you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
