In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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