I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
