Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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