Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
