At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
