Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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