I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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