Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
