So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
