Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
