O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
