i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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