69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
