I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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