He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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