real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My vagina is officially offended.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
