I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Randomize
