we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
