yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
