I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
