She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
