hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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