considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
