Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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