Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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