yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
