You can't motorboat a personality
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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