he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
