k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
