She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
