piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
