I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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