So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
