Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
