am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
