I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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