Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
