DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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