Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
