Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
