You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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