They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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