Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
