You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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