I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
